Saturday, June 11, 2011

There a really big world out there, You've got the chance change it.

This is the basis for my next shoot. To use the power of photography to give a voice to the silent, and speak into the lies that women believe about themselves. Yay for women with real figures! Whitney represents!


Trust in Sacrifice

I am trusting God in my sacrifices. Before i was tooo bitter with God to hold on to him through times of uncertainty. There is  a part of my faith that still feels broken , because following God has resulted in more suffering than less. But i know he must fulfill all his promises .. it may take time, but i don't belong on any other path than Gods. I know that now. I'm gonna hang in there for what i'm waiting for, my continued leaps of Faith, my sacrifice won't be in vain anymore.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Faith or Defeat

Hi ..  my name is Andrea and i'm a recovering catholic. Religiosity you get a thumbs down in my book lately, some religious members of figure heads can really bring ppl down and turn ppl against God, they are not representative of who God really is. Boo on them ... i'm sorry if you've ever been a victim, but you don't have to be anymore. If there is one thing i know about God it is this ...
Dios está cerca de los quebrantados de corazón. Su amor les trae la paz.  

We know the goodness and realness of God not through just a relgious institution, but through things that are unseen like love, healing, and gifts which come through prayer.
Just practicing my spanish and laughing in the face of life's absurity . If you wanna be perfect in life you have to allow some chaos and madness into your life! It's part of being human , in case you forgot what that means. Once something drains you ... its a sign its already defeating you, so either get rid of it all together or work around it.

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Make Something Beautiful Out Of Something Ugly

I cannot take credit for the title of this post. It was inspired by a stranger i met today. While trying to escape my stress, mainly my financial woes and crumbling relationships .. i sat in a park by Crowne Point while smoking a cigar and journaling on my computer. So im sitting at crowne point shadily as far away as I can from families because I feel kinda weird smoking a cigar. Don’t wanna set a bad example for kiddos. I’m either really stressed to the um tee-nth degree when im smoking a cigar or really relaxed.  So here are my own rationalizations as i sat alone journaling before this " stranger" sat with me and we talked . 

I am stressed because of things with classes aren't transfer over for a full semester credit of Spanish so now i have to take two summer courses . This all rocks the boat wiith stuff  i'm not gonna get into, technically i didn't do my hw on the transfer of classes .. but are you kidding its a foreign lang at a university and it doesn't count at my school? I know this doesn't seem like a big deal, but there is a whole other thing that i'm not getting into which is domino effect of this, which is something that really impacts me. Also found out that my ticket is going to make my insurance go up. ..... Going to have to switch insurance and start paying for it . Long story short ... im screwed financially once again. But out of the depths of my financial problems i managed to find some light. Lately ive been trying to rearrange my mindset about alot of things and keep positive about my goals ... if you stay positive then positive things will happen.

So i brainstormed on how despite these discomforts how i can devote my time to a second job that i actually like and my passions . One is that working at a boutique would be good so i could get discounts on clothes so i can be better prepared for photoshoots. I want to get deeper into modeling and photography .. and i need the outfits to back it up. I'm running out of wardrobe options for my shoots. Lastly, but not least i need to do some volunteer work and start making some deeper connections in my life than i have been. Don’t give up on your dreams when there is so much negativity surrounding you.  I have learned that people who tell you that you cant do something or who are always belittling and criticizing you will always bee wrong in the end, they will see someday .. if you are strong enough to overcome your fears of what others think or of failing, you will prove them wrong one day.  It just fear.. it fades away .. all it is an "illusion" - Richard Bach . You may walk through the valley of that shadow of death in this life, but God is with you through it, even when he seems silent.Trust him. I know its hard, but what else do we have left to hang on to if we don’t hang on to him?. I have so much to be thankful for God gave me God has given me gifts, a purpose, and many blessings ; i need to remind myself of this.  So here i am, myconclusions always end with God when i sit and think alone.. but my next conclusion ended with human connection. To some degree ive always known this  and try to live my life this way. But now and then i just need a reminder.



Today i was approached by this guy while i was journaling and he asked me what i was doing. I told him i was just relieving stress.  We sat and talked for a while. This stranger helped me see my situation in a different light and reminded me of what is important in life. He started out by saying life is about living for those connections we make with one another.

The world has been searching for that meaning since the beginning of time .  - Jimmy. His name is Jimmy and he has done and seen it all. He told me about his rough background and then i started to see how we all come from something a little messed up, but in the end we are all searching for that same thing .. meaning and human connection. There is something to be said about taking things as a negative in life. Winners are the ones who persevere and take the negatives as an opportunity.  We have to make something beautiful out of something ugly. We all go through junk in life. It makes us better if we let it and while we're going through the struggle it helps to keep what's important in life at the fore front. I am coming to find that i am really gifted at connecting with broken ppl, maybe because there is a certain honesty in that. I want people to feel like they are understood. By the end of our conversation he asked for my number, i took down his.  I don't think i feel comfortable ever spending more time with jimmy and didn't see him in a romantic way, but i think we met for a reason today.  I wish i could really help him , he is beginning a journey himself recovering from a really bad past, before i left i gave him encouragement and i guess the most i can really do is pray that he finds that meaning he is looking for.  We both are looking for the same kind of meaning. We both believe in it.




 Men dream of beautiful women ... of sleeping with beautiful women. But do they ever dream of a woman with inner beauty? In my opinion .. inner beauty can only fulfill the heart and soul. Looks always fade..For many maybe it doesn't matter when you are young and in lust, in love can wait for later? For some people the desire to find inner beauty is in them all along.

Soul Mates

Soul mates are in eachother all along.

A soulmate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are; we can be loved for who we are and not for who we’re pretending to be. Each unveils the best part of the other. No matter what else goes wrong around us, with that one person we’re safe in our own paradise. Our soulmate is someone who shares our deepest longings, our sense of direction. When we’re two balloons, and together our direction is up, chances are we’ve found the right person. Our soulmate is the one who makes life come to life." - Richard Bach

"It's the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting."
"When someone leaves, it's because someone else is about to arrive." 



"The secret of life, though, is to fall seven times and to get up eight times."
Paulo Coelho (The Alchemist)


"Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second's encounter with God and with eternity.


"When we love, we always strive to become better than we are. When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too."
Paulo Coelho (The Alchemist)  

But love is always new. Regardless of whether we love once, twice, or a dozen times in our life, we always face a brand-new situation. Love can consign us to hell or to paradise, but it always takes us somewhere. We simply have to accept it, because it is what nourishes our existence. If we reject it, we die of hunger, because we lack the courage to stretch out a hand and pluck the fruit from the branches of the tree of life. We have to take love where we find it, even if that means hours, days, weeks of disappointment and sadness.
Don't give in to your fears. If you do, you won't be able to talk to your heart.


"Friends will keep you sane, love could fill your heart, a lover can warm your bed, but lonely is a soul without a mate." ~ David Pratt



"It was the pure Language of the World. It required no explanation, just as the universe needs none as it travels through endless time. What the boy felt at that moment was that he was in the presence of the only woman in his life, and that, with no need for words, she recognized the same thing. He was more certain of it than of anything in the world. He had been told by his parents and grandparents that he must fall in love and really know a person before becoming committed. But maybe people who felt that way had never learned the universal language. Because, when you know that language, it's easy to understand that someone in the world awaits you, whether it's in the middle of the desert or in some great city. And when two such people encounter each other, and their eyes meet, the past and the future become unimportant. There is only that moment, and the incredible certainty that everything under the sun has been written by one hand only. It is the hand that evokes love, and creates a twin soul for every person in the world. Without such love, one's dreams would have no meaning."
Paulo Coelho (The Alchemist
A hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is the tree of life - The Bible
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