Hands of Rest

"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:4-7

Find My Missing Puzzle Piece

Someone told me i look like a Juliette in this photo. That if i was a character that's who i embody in this. For those of you who know me .. you will know how true this is in reality .. and if you reallllyyyyy really know me .. you'll know the why.

It's not that we need someone to complete us ... it's thats there's someone out there who is a part of us. Someone with a heart and a soul which aligns with ours. In a world of cynicism, very few people trust to believe in such a thing. Some extremely religious people believe it is not good to place our expectations in an imperfect human and that only God can love us the way we need to be loved.  Here is my question to the overly religious ... if  human love is so valueless, then why did God create it? To confuse and torment us? To allure us into reproducing? If God made us with lips to kiss and hearts to love , then how is this so. In it's purest form, love can disregard human shortcomings and has the ability to change and shape us. Can we control how much we love? Just a little. Should we control how much we hope for it? These things can't be  done half way, it must eventually fall on one side of the fence. In a world of uncertainty those who hope for it seem foolish. But how can some help it? It's that damn heart that won't stop beating, that is continually searching for it's missing piece.

Here area a few optimistic views on God, faith, dreams and persistence ...

God cannot do anything beyond our expectation.We must look to God for the blessing and not let it escape. We must beg God to give us grace. If God blesses, then many will be saved.

In order for good to continue to triumph over evil we must not lose faith. - A dreamer i once met.

Don't let the blind track their muddy feet over your dreams. No one can tell you what do dream or how to dream, it's uniquely yours. I'll be keeping my hopes unbroken....

Chastity

I love this song, and i am obsessed with Nadia Ali. Every word of this song is amazing. It reminds me of when i was in Hawaii and was first getting exposed to alot of junk in college life. It was hard for me to remember my small town roots. This song and its lyrics helped. I respect Nadia so much.




Sweet little chaste woman
Why are you holding your breath in an ocean
Where the abyss is infinitely deep
Skiing mountains dangerously steep
Collecting all the dainty roses
Envisioning the one who proposes
I pray your garden's always filled with seeds
That it's not bothered by the stem of the weed
You keep your jewels in a safe
And only one set of keys
Careful to only bestow
The one who gets on his knees
Don't believe in what is wrong, keep your night light on
You're confusing lust for love
Learn it will be gone
Don't believe in what is wrong
Keep your eyes open
You thought love and lust were one...
No! They're so different
Only love remains
Lust is all a game
Once you learn the truth
All will come to you
Chastity, I hope you're listening
The point I'm making is the one you're missing
I'm only telling you so that you don't have to
Make the decisions that I once had to
I'm not a preacher who has practiced
I'm not a teacher but you are still an apprentice
My only fault is that I see this view
You're not guilty, you're beyond your youth
If you're not prepared for this ride
I say you should close your eyes
These fields of no innocence
You couldn't bare this blackened side
I only mean well, I only mean well, I promise
I won't steer you wrong
It's only a simple request

Modeling and self-awareness

Modeling for me has had such a positive impact both on my self esteem and self- expression. It has taught me i don't need to be a rail to be beautiful that i can be just as beautiful as the girls in the magazines as along as i believe in my beauty and love myself as i am. I noticed that the way i perceive myself affects my performance. At the beginning of my first photoshoot, i asked alot of questions about how other models were that she worked with. I was nervous i was too much of an amateur or not as petite as other models. Self=fulfilling prophesy. The photographer told me at the end of the shoot that i did a great job, but that at the beginning of the shoot it seemed like something was wrong, that something was going on with me. As we progressed, i gained confidence in  my ability and I took better photos. The way we percieve ourselves affects how we act and our capacities. Comparing yourself to others will get you no where! Also, i have come to understand through seeing the passion from other photographers that modeling/photography is really an art where one can express something very powerful that comes from within. I am passionate about my new hobby and excited to see where it takes me! I have found a new healthy outlet which allows me to be me!

Let Your Heart Beat

To live in the present you must forgive the things of the past hope for things in the future, but don't expect

Ever hear of chaos theory, Ed? It's a science, tries to determine underlying patterns in chaotic systems. Weather, ocean currents, blood flow, that sort of thing. But it turns out that there are few things more chaotic than the beat of a human heart. Its beating up, slowing down. Pretty face, flight of stairs. It's always changing depending on what's happening out there. It's an erratic son of a bitch. But underneath all of that bump-da-bump mess, there is in fact a pattern, the truth, and it's love. Most important thing about love is that we choose to give it, and we choose to receive it. Making it the least random act in the entire universe. It transcends blood, it transcends betrayal and all the dirt that makes us human. If you can figure that out, the Jake Lees of the world got nothing on you.  - Chaos Theory"

Lyrics from the soundtrack are amazing: 

I give my heart and soul to the ageless
I give my blood and bone to the faceless
Burning bright and cold
With a nameless night
I give my life and love to you, graceless

Your wish is spinning 'round
It only wants to lie you
It never wants to come true

This road that you found
It was buried alive in your dreams
With all your second-hand blues

Do you need a place to stay?
Do you see a face when you pray?
Don't you leave a trace?
Don't you sleep awake?
Don't do it for my sake 


_______________________ 

Golden days song lyrics: " i am just a ghost of hearts
that break bittersweet"